Monday, March 03, 2008

Story of my school life

I get excited by a class, talk a lot, ask questions and answer them, maybe question some of the teacher's points to clarify. Then the teacher tires of this, feels threatened, wants to teach the class at a more basic level, or something else unknown happens. They then use different tactics, but the result is always the same. I feel stupid for talking, I get frustrated or am belittled (granted, I am extremely sensitive, and I'm sure they never ever actually mean to hurt me). And so I stop talking. And usually cry. I stop paying attention because it is the only way to survive. Otherwise I would just cry all the way through class, which I certainly have done before.

I shouldn't be surprised by now, though I don't really know what, if anything, I can change to prevent this from happening. I know whatever I do is just because I am interested and interested in the truth and clarity, but it must not be received that way. Oh well, I'll just be quiet in class now and try to avoid getting her attention.

Edited to add: Oh, and then I get depressed for the rest of the day because I feel worthless. Nice.

1 comment:

ʔʊweɪs's blog said...

You're smart and thoughtful and will have two Ma's way before a lot of ppl get their BA's...

Your teacher's a moo cow. 'Nuff said.