Homebody weekend

While we didn't do much this weekend, we got a lot done. Finally tackled the boxes of papers that have been sitting in our extra room for months, set up a filing system, got started on taxes, cut out some new sewing projects, took some nice long walks with the pup, read, read, watched Buffy, did some laundry, and even managed to hang out with two sets of friends before 3:30 today!

This brief moment in my life is very nice. I finally feel like I have a little bit of footing in my job, have gotten several very nice comments from patients' parents about the job I am doing, and (for the moment), have a caseload that is light enough that I am getting home before 7 PM a couple nights a week. That will change, and soon, but I am enjoying it while I can.

It's amazing what a difference a few hours makes. With my commute and the bus schedule, I end up with 12 hour days when my schedule is full. 7 to 7 is hard. Hopefully I can enjoy my "break" a little longer.

Wrong number

I got the scariest phone call I've ever gotten tonight.

It was a blocked number, and my parents are the only people who call me who have a blocked number. So I answer friendly-like, as I do when my parents call.

Me: Hey!

Youngish male voice (my brother? he's supposed to be at home this weekend): Hey!

Me: What's up?

Presumed brother: How you doin?

Me (half-paying attention to something else): Good, how are you?

Definitely not my brother: What's up?

Me: Who is this?

Man (suddenly aggressive): Shut the fuck up!

Me: Who's calling? Who is this?

Man: You shut the fuck up when I'm talking to you!

Me: I'm hanging up now.

Man: (Still talking, but I hung up on him).

It was odd enough (especially the beginning when he didn't answer my questions and just traded more greeting type things) that I half suspected it wasn't real and was some type of AI scam or prank call (using prerecorded bits of conversation to make it feel like a real conversation).

But the other half of me was concerned that it WAS a real person and that this was some poor girl's abusive partner who dialed the wrong number and thought his girl was getting uppity with him. To be on the receiving end of that kind of verbal violence was terrible, awful, horrible.

I was incredibly unnerved by the call, regardless of its origin, and was quite shaken, especially thinking it was a real person who could turn so evil to another human being when they had been so friendly just seconds earlier.

And if it is a prank, I'd love to hear how they did it.

So frustrated

And confused.

Why are people opposed to health care reform? Is it because of the cost? Let me tell you about "cost." I just spent--today--2 hours of three professionals' time, including my own, plus one hour of and interpreter's, to try to figure out how to get a mother the access to the health care she *qualifies* for and NEEDS for her child. He has severe medical needs, but will only have 4 more visits under his current plan. I estimate it probably cost almost $1,000 for TODAY'S time alone. I have been working on this kid's case for more than a month. You do the math.

This does not count the 40-50 hours per person, per week, our support staff has been logging to deal with insurance changes with the new year, for the last four weeks.

If we had universal health care, these costs would not exist. If we had universal health care, the hospital would not have to jack up prices because the negotiated rates are so low (literally, we are reimbursed THREE dollars an hour for one plan!!!). Most importantly, if we had universal health care, families would not have to go bankrupt trying to ensure that their children can SURVIVE.

Call me a socialist, call me an idealist, but I think people deserve the RIGHT to basic health care.

Even if you don't want to go that far, can someone explain to me how they can be against reform? I haven't heard a convincing answer yet. And I'm sorry, but "your plan stinks" is not a reason. That just means you have to come up with your own plan. And it has to actually mean CHANGE.

Silence

Sorry about that... Some unexpected things came up over the holidays. My family came to town and we had a lovely time, until the very last day when everyone went cross country skiing while I went to work. I finished with a patient to find several texts from my husband (who doesn't really text) with the words "mom" and "fell" and "ambulance" and possibly/probably "hospital." He tried to soothe me with something about "she's ok," but frankly, all I saw were those other words.

Eventually we found out she had fractured a vertebra (though "broken back" sounds so much more dramatic and is technically true), and she ended up staying almost a week in the hospital while the neurosurgeons debated surgery. Another week later, and she and my dad were finally able to fly home, a mere three weeks after arriving. Luckily for everyone's sanity, Papa was able to get some seriously screaming deals on hotel rooms in the area (sometimes last minute pays off, if it's the off season!), so we could enjoy this unexpected family time with a little distance. It was wonderful to have my parents here, though I certainly wish it had been under better circumstances all around.

Needless to say, life was pretty much paused for those three weeks. We are now getting back into the swing of things, had a wonderful party on Saturday night, then a couple new friends over for dinner on Sunday. I'm also trying to get back into the sewing stuff. I know I want to start a new project, but I'm not sure what yet. Maybe I'll just stare at my pretty pretty fabric and wait for inspiration to strike.

May 2010 end more auspiciously than it began!

Epidemic

It's official. There are three women left in my life (you know who you are) who are not pregnant or brand new mothers. Just for fun, today I counted the pregnant women I saw or heard about and I came up with 4 in less than 2 hours. OK, so that's not EVERY woman I know, but that is an awful lot of pregnant people wandering about!

One friend announced recently on Facebook that she and her husband had "unlocked the Pregnancy Achievement," thus cementing her place in my heart as My Favorite Nerd (and believe you me, there is QUITE the competition!). One coworker had a baby on Monday. I saw one pregnant belly in the hall near my cubby, another in the pharmacy, and another in the audiology hallway. There are still 3 more audiologists expecting, plus at least 3 more in our department. And yesterday morning, I woke up to another announcement from a classmate.

Better call my GYN and make sure all my prescriptions are up to date!

Christmas Cheer

After Nablopomo, I always have great momentum for posting more regularly, but I thrive under pressure, and I just can't seem to bring myself to post more frequently without the lure of PRIZES! even though I still have lots to say.

I am currently covered in threads from Christmas present-making, stuffed with cookies sampled during production, and very, very sad at the thought of going back to work tomorrow. With the bonus Monday gift of getting a cavity filled right before going into work. Fun!

Can't I just stay home and be Christmassy all year? (Aside: somehow, "Christmassy" is recognized as a real word by Blogger. Truly amazing.) I was a baking fiend, even if two of the five recipes didn't come out quite as planned and one whole batch of bars had to go straight into the trash.

Friends, check your nuts BEFORE you put them in the batter, because they may have gone rancid after sitting for years on the shelf. The good news is that after I get some fresh nuts, I think the recipe will be just delicious. And here concludes the most unintentionally dirty paragraph I have ever written.

The most wonderful time of the year

This not-having-finals thing is wonderful. This weekend, we put up most of the Christmas decorations, including the tree, which we decorated with the help of some small friends (all the ornaments on one low branch is definitely the Next Big Thing in decorating), I made some sinfully delicious shortbread cookies, and we even hung our stockings by the chimney (with care!).

We've had quite a bit of snow, which doesn't make it hard to get in the spirit! After posting this, I plan on making a few of the gifts on my list. I love making things, but it certainly takes a little time!

I have jury duty tomorrow, which should be interesting. Part of me is hoping to get put on a trial, because I think that would be really interesting, and part hopes to be dismissed early enough to still see my afternoon patients because I missed last Monday (and Tuesday) because of a bad cold.

Home sick

Left work about 45 minutes after getting there when I realized I really should not have come in. Woke up at 5 AM, unable to breathe, after having a pretty bad asthma attack last night. Thank god for rescue inhalers. Took my wonder drug, Mucinex, this AM, but though my nose is nice and clear, the body aches were unaffected. I think I unwittingly pushed myself too much this weekend with travel and lots of fun times. Off to nap this away and get all the way better ASAP.

(Also, last day of nablopomo! Other than my 5 minute delay, I made it! Mostly. But it still doesn't feel like it counts. Stupid 5 minutes.)

Getting Back

Tomorrow, we all go back to work. Unlike in years past, I am not returning from Thanksgiving Break to face papers, finals, and the general mayhem that is the end of a semester. However, I am also not trying to make that final push, knowing that Christmas Break awaits me on the other side. No, I will only get a few days off for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, though I may end up taking an extra day off, just for my sanity.

We just got back from a lovely afternoon and evening with our friends Jill and Kyle. We did more Quilt Club, plus got to join in their family pizza night and enjoy delicious utterly homemade pizza and even play some Rock Band. Completely fun, but I am exhausted now. Off to bed to start the week anew tomorrow. Maybe the Christmas decorations will put themselves up while I sleep.

Working Stiff

For the first time in my life, I am at a point where what I am doing could be (will be?) what I will be doing for The Rest of My Life. This scares the shit out of me. Not because I'm not happy with my chosen profession or because I don't like not having homework, but because this feels so final. So ultimate.

I know it doesn't need to be, and being out of school does give me so many more options, but it is utterly frightening not to have an ultimate goal. In grad school, there was always an end goal (the degree) and even a general end date. Before that, my goal was grad school. Before that, graduation from undergrad. Etc.

So now that I am just working, what exactly is the goal? I mean, I know the goal is to help kids and generally make the world a better place and hopefully have a family someday, but it's just too abstract for me right now.

Maybe that's why I've thrown myself so much into sewing and making these various projects. They give me some sense of completion, a goal to work towards, because goodness knows my job does not give me that. Some jobs are project-driven, and I tend to do very well with those kinds of jobs. Other jobs you just keep DOING, and the doing is the job. The doing may vary considerably from day to day, and it may be very important that you keep doing, but the doing never stops.

Perhaps someday I will decide I want to go back for a PhD, and then I won't have ANY problem with goals and deadlines! In the meantime, I will continue having projects at home to give me a sense of completion. In addition, I am going to try to follow the excellent advice of my father, who was a school counselor for many years, which is very similar to what I do, and make sure that I FINISH the projects on the weekend so that I can get a sense of completion and not have things hanging over my head at home and at work.

Back to the blog

So sorry for the last few posts. For some reason, I was not able to enter text in the body of the blog, even though it has worked in the past. Hence, the incredibly informative and compelling posts.

We are in Reno now, after a lovely Thanksgiving in Sacramento and a hassle-free flight on Wednesday from one of the nation's busiest airports. Today was one of the first Black Fridays I actually went shopping and I managed to get some decent deals. Too bad I can't share most of it, since I don't want to ruin any surprises!

Though this is not perfectly timely, I would like to take this opportunity to reflect on a few things for which I am thankful, since this is not something that should be done only one day a year.

In no particular order, I am thankful for:

My beloved husband, for being who he is, and for loving me so deeply.
My family, for always being so supportive and loving.
Jasper, for being the snuggliest dog in the world.
Both of us being employed in our chosen fields, in these uncertain times.
Having health insurance.
Our dear, dear friends, who bring so much light and joy into our lives.
Sleep.
Our health and the health of our friends and family.
Being done with school. At least for now.

iPhone blogging only lets me write in titles. More like Twitter, this.

Too little, too late

Woe, c'est moi!

Tonight, I cried over cinnamon.

Those near and dear to me know that when I am hungry, I cry. When I am getting sick, haven't eaten in 8 hours, frustrated with a hyper dog who just needs attention! attention!, home late due to a broken bus, leaving in 11 hours for a trip for which I have not packed, have an apartment to clean so the dogsitters don't declare us unfit puppy-parents, and desperately want some homemade chicken noodle soup but lack the time and energy to make it, and so make due with some applesauce for which I simply want some cinnamon, and yet the cinnamon is not where it should be! Well then... then I cry. Even while I realize how ridiculous I am. Throughout it all, I just kept thinking, "If Peter were here, HE would know where the cinnamon was!" (In fact he did. He knew it was at school where he took it for a cooking project for his students. Boo.)

Now, my stomach is full(er), the apartment is somewhat picked up, I had an excellent snuggle with Jasper (he really is the best snuggle-dog in the world), and I have exactly two shirts and two pairs of underwear packed. And I think I am going to give myself a freaking break and drive to work rather than try to catch the ass-early bus and attempt to get everything else done before 6 AM. Yes, I think I shall give myself a freaking break.

Transitions

I am at a weird point in my life where it seems everyone I know is either getting pregnant/having babies or off on some epic journey traveling the world. Thanks to too many years of grad school, I am too fresh in my career to join the ranks of the baby-makers immediately, and our own epic travel adventure is years behind us now (not that we couldn't travel more... but being newly employed makes that difficult too!). I'm just very glad we aren't trying for a baby and not succeeding because seriously, I can't even count how many pregnant people/very recent babies I know!

Thanksgiving

I can't even believe November is almost over! We are about to start the week of Thanksgiving, which is basically the official kickoff to the blur that is the holiday season.

I was not as productive as I had hoped this weekend, but I did manage to get some good things done. I started my Christmas shopping today (I KNOW), and bought some Christmas decorations, since we will actually need them this year! For the first time, family is coming here!

No longer will our single ornament and one strand of lights suffice. We'll need a tree, lights, ornaments and all the trimmings. I seriously wanted a wreath for the front door, but I couldn't find one that was flat enough to fit between our front door and the storm door.

It's all very, very exciting! I love Christmas and am so thrilled that we will be able to have our families here to celebrate with us. Yes, both sets of parents are coming, albeit at different times. Thank goodness, because I don't think we would all fit! Hopefully someday when we have a real house with extra bedrooms and such we can have everyone come to stay.

We are going to California for Thanksgiving (Peter is actually already there with my brother, lucky duck!). I can't wait to see family again and EAT delicious food!

My new hair

Got the bangs a little while ago now, but I LOVE them. Excellent change.

Sound Sleeper

I found out last night who is going to be responsible for hearing things that go bump in the night.

C'est moi.

Just after I went to bed, I heard a very loud crash, with a distinct shattering overtone. I startled awake, obviously, and Peter startled to my startle. Great. The huge crash five feet from him didn't even phase him, but my jumping awake did.

The ancient light cover above our bathroom vanity had decided it was time to end its life (perhaps it knew we had designs on its life anyhow?) and threw itself off its moorings. Very odd. Luckily, it was just brittle plastic and so there were only a few plastic shards threatening our feet in the morning.

The two incandescent bulbs now look so chic nestled in the industrial metal frame left. I guess this honey-do just got bumped up on the list.

Frustrated

In keeping with my 8-years-behind-the-times theme (see: recent Buffy discovery), I am obsessed with Funny Farm now. I've unlocked eight of the squares and just get myself to the point of frustration with a section before figuring something else out using only my wits, Google (who seriously knows the names of poker stars off the top of their head?) and a few hints from the archives of when this was popular 2-3 years ago. It's quite fun!

***

Jasper has a habit of lightly nipping or snapping at people's faces when he is excited. I HATE this habit, but haven't figured out a good way to deal with it. Tonight, I saw a positive side to it.

We were on our nightly walk which is always taken in the dark now, just me and J, when I heard two men talking by the bus stop. I had to walk right by them to throw away J's offerings, so I was trying to take stock of them, as any female walking alone at night does, just as a matter of course. Friend or foe?

As I got closer, they began talking to me, asking what my dog's name was and if he was a boy or a girl. I was pretty sure they were residents of the group home nearby, but no matter who they were, they were strange adult men, and it was very dark and I was wearing all black walking a black dog. I politely answered their questions, walking quickly by, as J tugged to sniff them.

I had to walk past them again to get back home, and as I did so, they asked to pet the dog. Sure, fine. J of course is in raptures, wiggling and sniffing and loving attention. One of them is frantically petting him, and talking to him in exciting high pitched tones, and THEN that same guy puts his arms under J and looks like he's about to pick him up!

Nanoseconds later, J is just WAY too excited by all of this. The guy's face is bent down near J, and J does what he always does when excited: nips at the face with love. Luckily, he NEVER gets close to the actual face, but let me tell you from experience, you are close enough to hear those jaws snap!

I tug J away and say we better get going, and Nipped Dude seems to be OK with that. To his credit, he wasn't upset or scared, just a little taken aback, which was fine with me, because who tries to pick up a strange 60 lb. black dog?

I will still try to figure out how to curb that habit (the joys of adoption!), but for the time being, I'll take the silver lining!

Filters

Lately I've been noticing how grateful I am that I have somewhat working social filters. I think they have improved slightly with age, because I'm pretty sure most of my early 20s were spent with my foot firmly in my mouth. But now I notice myself thinking things and only nanoseconds later, thinking, "THAT would be a dumb thing to say!" thereby preventing unknown tragedies and hurt feelings galore. And then I spend the next few seconds congratulating myself on not being a social dunce, and miss what everyone else has just said, thus negating any social points I won by not saying the dumb thing I think and missing the smart things other people say.