Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Vestigial pinkies

Some people think lifting a pinking when drinking is an affectation, a silly show of presumed delicacy or refined breeding. For me, it's simply a biological fact. My pinkies are tiny: bizarrely stunted appendages that do little more than keep me more human than Simpson. They look more like the finger of a baby than an adults, a fact I have frequently been reminded of by my loving family.

So when I drink from a cup, mug or glass, my tiny pinky automatically extends out, not because I think I'm secretly descended from royalty (though I am a Leo, the royalty of the zodiac), but because my little finger isn't long enough to reach the cup like its brethren, nor is it strong enough to really hang on very well.

So please, mock me not. It could very well be that tiny pinkies are the mark of true blue blood, it's just that no one knows it yet.

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